Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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