I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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