I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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