Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
