i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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