i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
