Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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