I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
