Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
where are you?
Hypothermia
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
