I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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