I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Let's get the cat blown out
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
