I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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