Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
