Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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