can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
