Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
