the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
