On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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