I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
