imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
