i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
