Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
