I love black thongs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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