I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
