can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
