You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Those nachos came to me in a dream
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
