I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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