How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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