your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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