It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
