a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
