It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
