Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
