I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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