She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am available for nakedness
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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