doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
