why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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