So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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