He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
