On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
