Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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