Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My vagina is officially offended.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
