woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
wow bdsm is so cute
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