This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
