so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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