Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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