I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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