There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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