It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
