Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
